Heterosexism, homophobia and gender experiences
| Passive discrimination | Atomised discrimination | Gendered discrimination |
|---|---|---|
| Looking after vulnerable children in care, there would be an assumption that there would be something sexually wrong about the company and that we wouldn’t be safe to look after children. Lily | I mean when I started it was illegal. You felt, “oh God how am I going to get through this”. Simon | I don’t think people associate gay women with the beauty industry. Harriet |
| What if they are thinking that the therapists are gay, and if they are getting waxed down there. People are ridiculous, but this is it. Harriet | He made complaints to the HSE and Ministers [a parent of a child in care] but he started a public campaign which would impact not only on that kid but all the kids in our care and on the company. Lily | Sometimes I think there is a lack of security in being two women as well. That you don’t have the muscle or whatever. Penny |
| That is a minority thing, maybe it is a little more difficult to find common ground with people enmasse if you are from a minority. Harriet | Every time we go into the park “Lesbians!” comes across the park. We have a dog so we would be in the park 4 times a day. Lily | I had two women who are in charge of the biggest scheme and they absolutely love me because I put it on. Not in a bad way, in a nice way. That a straight guy wouldn’t be able to. Gerry |
| It’s ok if two guys get together but they would be afraid if they put a child in that environment that the child is going to get molested. Now that’s the elephant in the room and nobody wants to say that. Simon | I have been beaten up. I was beaten up by a guy in London a few years ago for walking down the street with my girlfriend. I have been called a “dyke” so many times. I have had men proposition me in really violent, vulgar ways. A lot of kind of verbal abuse, mainly from men. You kind of stop counting, don’t you? Harriet | Most of my customers would be women, ones that have been coming here for years and there is a comfort there. Finn |
| Being gay [business owner] and going to a small village. Like I grew up there and I know what it’s like and it’s not easy. Penny | [A man] Was going to start making kind of mincing kind of motions and just pulling the piss about being gay and obviously he was doing it at me. All the other guys started laughing and I was really upset and really angry. I was more upset because I didn’t say anything. Gerry | I realised then looking at the Irish system that there was no way that women are going to be anywhere in it until something serious shifts. Graínne |
| So, I’m just speaking from my perspective as a gay man. Everything that represents us is hyper sexualised. Paul | Years ago, when I was 20 [beaten for being gay] but that was in the town. Finn | I have always found it a great advantage being a senior manager and being a lesbian because you mix almost exclusively with men, and you are not a threat to their wives. Lily |
| We all use the word married but it’s just not is it. Finn | There is one guy down there [living nearby business premises] who gave me a lot of hassle at one stage. Finn | [In a business development meeting] when I spoke (bar my client) the men in the room directed their responses back to my [male] account executive. Leisha |
| People definitely don’t see it the same as with a girlfriend isn’t the same as having a boyfriend. Blathin | I was walking down the street with my arm around my girlfriend and we had an egg thrown at us. Leisha | Very simple things like dealing with builders and work men don’t take you as seriously as they would a man talking to them. Penny |
| Before I was out, my boss over in the UK would say things like “hippie dykes”. Harriet | We’ve had things shouted at me you know walking down the street, when we have been holding hands. Graínne | I’m not a typical woman, I have to say in a very stereotypical way. I can talk to a guy about sport. Ok I might know how to use a wrench in a particular situation but you know it's about creating a bit of empathy with a person. And they no longer see you as someone who knows nothing and can be taken advantage of. Kira |
| You know, nothing really positive is going to come out of being gay other than maybe the odd good conversation – but a lot of negative things could happen. Harriet | [Heterosexist] bullying in the playground especially when I was a teenager. Paul | They [women] talk to me more easily, they talk to me about their relationships and how they feel. How their lives are going than they would to a straight guy but no I wouldn’t imagine it has any major advantages or disadvantages. Finn |
| A friend of mine was kissing his boyfriend on O’Connell street and some German guy, probably about 5 '1, said that if he didn’t stop kissing his boyfriend in front of them that he was going to slit their throats. David | I have been told that the reason I haven’t gotten a certain job is because I’m not a guy, not a drinking buddy, you know. Kira |
| Passive discrimination | Atomised discrimination | Gendered discrimination |
|---|---|---|
| Looking after vulnerable children in care, there would be an assumption that there would be something sexually wrong about the company and that we wouldn’t be safe to look after children. | I mean when I started it was illegal. You felt, “oh God how am I going to get through this”. | I don’t think people associate gay women with the beauty industry. |
| What if they are thinking that the therapists are gay, and if they are getting waxed down there. People are ridiculous, but this is it. | He made complaints to the HSE and Ministers [a parent of a child in care] but he started a public campaign which would impact not only on that kid but all the kids in our care and on the company. | Sometimes I think there is a lack of security in being two women as well. That you don’t have the muscle or whatever. |
| That is a minority thing, maybe it is a little more difficult to find common ground with people enmasse if you are from a minority. | Every time we go into the park “Lesbians!” comes across the park. We have a dog so we would be in the park 4 times a day. | I had two women who are in charge of the biggest scheme and they absolutely love me because I put it on. Not in a bad way, in a nice way. That a straight guy wouldn’t be able to. |
| It’s ok if two guys get together but they would be afraid if they put a child in that environment that the child is going to get molested. Now that’s the elephant in the room and nobody wants to say that. | I have been beaten up. I was beaten up by a guy in London a few years ago for walking down the street with my girlfriend. I have been called a “dyke” so many times. I have had men proposition me in really violent, vulgar ways. A lot of kind of verbal abuse, mainly from men. You kind of stop counting, don’t you? | Most of my customers would be women, ones that have been coming here for years and there is a comfort there. |
| Being gay [business owner] and going to a small village. Like I grew up there and I know what it’s like and it’s not easy. | [A man] Was going to start making kind of mincing kind of motions and just pulling the piss about being gay and obviously he was doing it at me. All the other guys started laughing and I was really upset and really angry. I was more upset because I didn’t say anything. | I realised then looking at the Irish system that there was no way that women are going to be anywhere in it until something serious shifts. |
| So, I’m just speaking from my perspective as a gay man. Everything that represents us is hyper sexualised. | Years ago, when I was 20 [beaten for being gay] but that was in the town. | I have always found it a great advantage being a senior manager and being a lesbian because you mix almost exclusively with men, and you are not a threat to their wives. |
| We all use the word married but it’s just not is it. | There is one guy down there [living nearby business premises] who gave me a lot of hassle at one stage. | [In a business development meeting] when I spoke (bar my client) the men in the room directed their responses back to my [male] account executive. |
| People definitely don’t see it the same as with a girlfriend isn’t the same as having a boyfriend. | I was walking down the street with my arm around my girlfriend and we had an egg thrown at us. | Very simple things like dealing with builders and work men don’t take you as seriously as they would a man talking to them. |
| Before I was out, my boss over in the UK would say things like “hippie dykes”. | We’ve had things shouted at me you know walking down the street, when we have been holding hands. | I’m not a typical woman, I have to say in a very stereotypical way. I can talk to a guy about sport. Ok I might know how to use a wrench in a particular situation but you know it's about creating a bit of empathy with a person. And they no longer see you as someone who knows nothing and can be taken advantage of. |
| You know, nothing really positive is going to come out of being gay other than maybe the odd good conversation – but a lot of negative things could happen. | [Heterosexist] bullying in the playground especially when I was a teenager. | They [women] talk to me more easily, they talk to me about their relationships and how they feel. How their lives are going than they would to a straight guy but no I wouldn’t imagine it has any major advantages or disadvantages. |
| A friend of mine was kissing his boyfriend on O’Connell street and some German guy, probably about 5 '1, said that if he didn’t stop kissing his boyfriend in front of them that he was going to slit their throats. | I have been told that the reason I haven’t gotten a certain job is because I’m not a guy, not a drinking buddy, you know. |
Source(s): Authors
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