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Purpose

A satire on academic school board meetings.

Design/methodology/approach

A poetic reflection on the proclivity of academics for lengthy meeting debates on matters of no importance.

Findings

Meetings tend to attract and sustain lengthy speeches and debates that often produce little beyond the self‐amusement of participants who enjoy debate and the boredom of those who feel obliged to attend.

Research limitations/implications

The reader is invited to identify with any of the participants in such occasions.

Originality/value

A satirical reflection on the actors, motivations and consequences of time‐consuming academic meetings.

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