Chapter 35: Be the Change you Wish to See in the World: Telling Our Stories With Integrity and Passion

Dear Precious Educator,

If I were sitting across from you, looking into your eyes as I spoke, I might make different choices in how I tell my story, noticing how it is being received, pausing to clarify or respond, but without that intimacy, connection, or relationship, I do not have that luxury. So because every story is different and every coming-out journey unique, I share my story with honesty and humility and hope that it might be reassuring, illuminative, or helpful to you in some way.

My journey to becoming a “queer educator” began by identifying myself as an ally to LGBT youth. As I watched young people, including some very close to me, navigate the difficult terrain of coming out and identifying themselves as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, I ached to be helpful and supportive. Several teenagers—friends of my daughter—came out to me in my kitchen, sometimes fearful about what their parents would say if they knew, worried that they would be disinherited or discarded. I listened, tried to be reassuring, and fed them cookies. When the opportunity arose for me to be an adult chaperone for the Youth Against Homophobia group from my local high school as they attended the 1994 National March on Washington for Gay and Lesbian Rights, I was delighted by the opportunity to be a more active ally. I was already doing professional work about antiracism and antihomophobia with teachers and students, and this seemed a logical thing to do.