8: Ivan: Loss of Faith

I’ve known Ivan for most of his life. He and my son, Nick, attended the same elementary school, were assigned to the same junior high teams, and shared many teachers and classroom experiences over the years. When they were 13, Ivan talked Nick into attending the National Guitar Workshop, and for the next three years they roomed together for a week each summer, immersing themselves in music and in the culture of musicians. In high school, they played together in a band featuring original music and instrumental versatility. Switching instruments between songs was a signature of their performances.

From the sidelines, I’d been watching Ivan grow up for years, and when Nick came home one day during their junior year and announced, “Ivan dropped out,” I was stunned. Almost immediately my shock turned to skepticism. Nick had been lobbying hard to drop out himself. Was this another ploy? So I called Ivan’s mom, and she confirmed the news—somewhat apologetically, I might add, because she knew Nick was hanging on by a thread.