Chapter 23: A Version of Me

It’s so hard to describe the period that led to my recovery that I usually simplify it with ‘the time in hospital’. It wasn’t my first time in a psychiatric hospital, to say the least, but it was the first time I had attempted to end my life. I would describe the experience as a desperate attempt. It was certainly not ‘a cry for help’. I had intended to die because I simply could not see any hope, any future or any end to my suffering. I had given up on myself. I felt I couldn’t take the pain of life anymore. I was so alone. I had insufferably surrounded myself with friends upon friends all my life to fill the gaping lack of love in my life.