Chapter 5: Value-Based Parenting: Parents as Key Meaning Making Structures for the Developing Person and Athlete

More than 13 years working with thousands of young athletes have taught me that the only way to truly help an athlete thrive and fulfill potential is by working just as much with the parents as well as the athlete. The parents have so many roles of support for their child in sport: financial, practical, emotional—as well as being the driver, the chef, handling laundry, planning, communicating with coaches, and for many also coaching their child on the sideline. Studies show that parents’ view on having a child in sport is not always easy. Parents face several struggles and dilemmas which among them is quality of coach and training, lack of communication from coach and association, considerations about the child’s development and future opportunities, emotions related to competition, results, finances, time, logistics, health and education (Lienhart et al., 2020). My experience is that the biggest issue for parents is value-based parenting. The discrepancy between what they say they want, and what they actually tend to do, which in my experience seem to be two very different things. I have often experienced the realization of this discrepancy serving as an eyeopener for parents. A typical example is the parent who obviously knows the value of a process-oriented approach to talent development, but at the same time puts a lot of effort in to analyzing the child’s performance, talking about ranking lists, asking other athletes in the club about results, showing the child’s results on own social media channels and also spending a lot of time on following the results of some professional sport such as football as an example. With this in mind, and with the perspective that I have not yet met a parent who didn’t do everything for their child based on love, this chapter aims to investigate and shine a light of the importance, issues, struggles, and potential benefits of value-based parenting from an experienced practitioner’s point of view. However, this chapter is simultaneously written with a tremendous respect and understanding for all the hats sport parents wear. Hopefully, this chapter can further serve as a catalyst for the investigation of the crucial part of parenting when talking about sports and talent development.