Chapter 1: Finding My Voice

I’ve never been at a loss for words, until now. Generally, when someone asks for me to speak on something, it has come easy. I like to be the center of attention: I blame that on the fact that I am the youngest of three and the only boy. Ever since I can remember, I have done any and everything I could to make sure that I was seen and heard. From making my sisters sing with me for nobody but ourselves to telling stories to stuffed animals in my alone time, I have always had something to say. It was never difficult for me to share some part of me that had potential to connect with another person. Yet, I find that I am at a loss for words. This is, in part, due to the fact that everything I’ve done until now has been, in some degree, away from myself. For every song sung, I could pretend that I was a different singer. For every story told, I could pretend that I was that character. It was never really someone that I could connect to because there was a distance. Even now, I find it difficult to talk about myself. I have started and restarted this opening paragraph too many times that I don’t even know what it is that I want to say anymore. The truth of the matter is, I have never had to speak about anything like this before. I am used to telling others stories and finding a way to make them feel as though they were my own; it’s my defense mechanism. I’ve never been at a loss of words, until now. The way that I am able to share my story is through the songs that have shaped my life. These songs found me in times where I was struggling with who I was as an individual and who I was as an “entertainer.” These songs told me that it was okay for me to be myself, with each of them finding me at points in my life where all I was able to do was listen to them on repeat and let them speak for me. These songs got me through a lot of things that nobody I was around would understand. These are the songs that gave me words when I did not know what to say. This is how I found my voice.