7: Polina Antoni Kanin

Drink and drugs are notorious in rock and roll. As a collective, drink, drugs and rock and roll evoke a certain nostalgia for the once successful and rebellious musician, living a carefree party lifestyle. One that has been, and probably still is, considered by some as something to be envied. Maybe this is a result of many talented artists, from Elton John to Steven Tyler, finding themselves immersed in a culture of substance use, where to be the only sober person in the room was an isolating experience not conducive to raising your profile (Gonzales, 2019). There is also the belief held by some that substance use is an important ingredient in the creative process, a time when the most imaginative work takes form (Iszaja, Ehmannb, Griffiths, & Demetrovics, 2018). Others have suggested it is necessary to relax after frequent late night performances and the consequential surge of adrenalin that is experienced (Gonzales, 2019; Iszaja et al., 2018). Beyond the direct impact on people within the music industry, research has also suggested that when an interest in certain genres of music peaks, so too can the attraction to the accompanying lifestyle, providing familiarity and comfort in musical unity and its associated behaviours (Bellis et al., 2007). The reality is that addiction is a miserable existence regardless of profile, talent, lifestyle and status. It is an outcome that some are perhaps more susceptible to because of their propensity for music, listening, performing and producing alike (Gonzales, 2019; Iszaja et al., 2018). This story recounts such a tale, one where addiction and music were intertwined, but where recovery sees music balanced with love. Polina was born in Russia in 1987 and moved to America just over 10 years later. In her own words, Polina's story.