It's a Battlefield Available to Purchase

Perhaps it was because I had recently been reading Swift's Battle of the Books, but what I know for certain is that I shall always laugh at those people who tell me that libraries are like sanctuaries, oases of peace in a raucous world. I used to believe that. Not now: not after what happened last night when I was left alone in the library. Did I say alone? Well, now, that's not quite right. But let me tell you about it.