– The purpose of this paper is to present some results of a qualitative study exploring people's memories of the pathways to the first episode of self-wounding. Specifically it will focus on the issue of “suicidality”.
– In total, 11 participants, aged between 19 and 50, were described. They were asked to describe their first episode of self-wounding. The interviews were conducted using a semi-structured topic guide. An initial thematic and a subsequent narrative analysis were used to explore the participants’ stories.
– The narratives of self-wounding show that the first episode occurs in a complex landscape of interactions between events and emotions. Even when participants were aware of suicidal feelings before self-wounding, the suicidal intention was abandoned as the self-wounding was shown to be an effective method for dealing with distress. For most of the participants the self-wounding was not associated with suicidality but with a strong need to gain or regain control of an emotionally charged and chaotic environment.
– Focusing on the first episode of self-harm holds the key to a better appreciation of the underlying meanings of self-wounding as a complex and dynamic experience. It can provide health care practitioners with a new direction to understanding people's individual motivations rather than focusing relying on behaviour generalised assumptions.
– This study provides a rare insight into the first episode of self-harm as a unique event. It is also a rare example of publicly funded service-user research with a focus on issues which are meaningful to them.
