CHAPTER 19: The Calm after the Storm

It seems as though every time I am in an interview I am asked to reveal a little about myself. Perhaps such a question in that particular moment need not be complex, but I find that trying to convey an appropriate, but true, response is challenging, because my life cannot be condensed into a few simple words. Summarizing a lifetime of experiences and major events into a few sentences is a difficult task, but one which I want to accomplish so that the ultimate message is clear. Even in writing this essay for Queer Voices from the Classroom, the goal of giving insight into who I am isn’t one I can accomplish without some sense of hesitation. To be perfectly honest, I am still trying to define my identity; this is in part because coming to terms with who I am and accepting it is still an ever-evolving process. However, at a superficial level it is safe to conclude that I am a hopeful 38-year-old gay man who finds working with high-school-aged students rewarding; cares about his family; aims at always doing his best in everything he is charged with; is spiritual; values loyalty, commitment, dedication; is a bit health-conscious; and enjoys being active and social with a few close friends. While I am not completely out at work or in every setting, I am comfortable with my sexuality. I have to admit that I still carry the burden of being in the closet to two very important people in my life: my mother and sister. They’re my only immediate family living in the same city, but I find it overwhelming to come forth and let them know about something so personal because I believe this news has the potential of altering our relationship—so much so that it frightens me. Yet deep down inside I know that my sexuality, while difficult to accept, is something that my family will overlook because they see in me so much more than my sexual orientation.