A Self-study on Reconceptualizing Notions of Race and Engaging in Critical Consciousness-Building

As white mathematics teacher educators, engaging in intimate scholarship is essential to the work of becoming antiracist, to reach the depth and criticality required to build a deeply inclusive graduate class culture and ultimately support systemic change. After a previous attempt filled with failings and missteps, we turned to collaborative self-study to guide us in reconceptualizing our notions of race and engaging in critical consciousness-building during future course planning. Enacting critical friendship in self-study afforded us the opportunity to further our ongoing journey toward becoming antiracist as we uncovered growth that stemmed from shared critical readings, collective reflection, and reaching out to women and scholars of color to guide the auditing of our work. Specifically, we were able to examine our privilege as white women by sharing our positionalities, critical stances, and antiracist aims, ultimately shedding a layer of our colorblindness. Findings indicate that the use of two frameworks, one focused on antiracist pedagogical moves and the other on self-implication, helped to advance our journeys in becoming antiracist by affording us opportunities to sit within our tensions and move forward with intention as we planned our future teaching. This study adds to the literature on critical consciousness-building within intimate scholarship and dialogue as applied during self-study.