Chapter 4: May I Still Call You Honey-Man: One Child, Vacillating Gender, and the Experiences of Home, School, and Community

This is part of the story of one child (Bryce), the child’s parents (Jackie and Steve), Bryce’s younger brother Marcus, and the community where they live. Bryce was born anatomically a boy. As Bryce entered his preschool years, his mom noticed that he was angered by not having a choice concerning his clothing (only had boys’ clothes as a toddler) and gravitated toward clothing that would be generally described as girls’ clothes, that he often spoke of being a girl or mommy when he grew up and he wished for long hair. These signs, along with some of Bryce’s personality characteristics, led his parents to allow him to make the choice of dressing in girls’ clothing and growing out his hair. This chapter is Bryce’s story—the story of a child negotiating gender and all of the trappings of our culture related to genitalia and gender. In this writing, I refer to Bryce as he because if asked, he will say he is a boy but will then state that he feels like a girl. Please note that this would not be the case for all children who are transgender or gender variant; please see Boenke (2003) for a discussion about the proper use of pronouns for people who are transgender. Additionally, there are two websites that offer general terminology and commonly asked questions that would be helpful for anyone not yet familiar with the issues and language surrounding transgender issues (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, n.d.; Safe Zone Tallahassee, Florida, n.d.).