Introduction

I realized something was broken within youth leadership development quickly into my career, but I did not comprehend the extent of the impact from this misguided system until a particularly scorching hot weekend during a high school leadership retreat. This retreat was about eight years into my career as a facilitator, program developer, and curriculum builder of experiences for young people. There was a moment where I stood looking out at the sunset over the landscape before me, the heat of the day finally breaking. Most of the participants were in their post-dinner program, and I was taking a break walking along the open-air tents. I love these moments, where I find some time to myself and get to take in the nature and landscape before me. This time, my moment was interrupted when one of the teens in my cohort ran up to me visibly upset. She explained that Lori, another teen, was not well and that she needed my help immediately. Together, we went to our tent, and I found Lori, sitting, sobbing, with a smattering of friends in other corners of the tent, concerned, but unsure of what to do. I went up to Lori, sat next to her, said “hey,” and waited. “What's going on?” I asked, and she replied, “I don't want to be here anymore.” With gentle encouragement to her, Lori and I walked to a private part of the camp where, between tears, she shared with me what was weighing on her mind. Mostly, that she was not a leader, and she was pretending.