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An unconventional article based on an unfinished manuscript from the late Alan Smithee (“one of the great Hollywood directors”) and completed by his successor in Hollywood, Tommy Lee. Offers some perspectives on what the future of marketing may hold based on past metamorphic successes and makes some critical suggestions for review. Considers a range of metaphors and associated (rather humorous) terminologies. Notes some key questions for marketing theorists, such as: what are the appropriate relationships between business disciplines and their philosophies; and how can marketing academia develop better relationships with practitioners to the mutual benefit of both parties? Points out that unless marketing academics address some of these key questions “significant contributions to knowledge” will continue to be viewed by practitioners as shifts in language rather than substance.

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