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Suggests bereavement strategies for educative leaders. Reports action research that helped a school community come to terms with the effects of a staff member committing suicide. Summarizes the advice to the principal from an external counsellor; the stages that people go through in learning how to cope with trauma, coming to terms with loss and negotiating a new stable state. Shows that the school community experienced extremes of emotion and a collapse of confidence and professional legitimacy. Argues that bereavement processes and particular strategies at each stage should be justified in terms of consequences. Finds the principal was central to the politics of grief. Examines different micro‐political leadership styles and suggests a fifth, more educative approach.

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